This quote by Gandhi is extremely profound. This whole blog is dedicated to my personal thoughts; my personal struggles; my personal fears; my personal hell. I was raised LDS my whole life; Latter Day Saint. Mormon. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I was taught to go to church every Sunday, to say my morning/evening prayers, to study the scriptures daily, to take the Sacrament, to keep the Sabbath day holy, to love one another, to watch and read appropriate materials, to wear appropriate clothing, to judge righteously, to not take the Lord's name in vain, to keep the 10 Commandments which include; Thou Shalt Not Kill, Thou Shalt not Covet, Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness, Thou Shalt Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself...

I was also taught that there is such a thing as free agency. I was taught that there's a Plan of Salvation. Jesus Christ and Satan were at war. Satan wanted a plan where everyone did what he wanted them to do. God and Jesus Christ wanted a plan where His children were given free agency to choose what they wanted to do. Something that has been one of the number one frustrations is choice. We all have choices. We all have consequences to those choices. Think of your parents. When you don't do what they want you to do, how do they react? They're sad. They're disappointed. Some are angry. Some are frustrated. Now, let's talk about unconditional love. The dictionary defines "unconditional" as "Not subject to any conditions". What are conditions? "a state of affairs that must exist or be brought about before something else is possible or permitted". 

Your parents would NEVER say, "In order for me to love you, you must meet the following conditions. Do parents have a right to believe in what they believe? Absolutely! Do their children? You bet. So, in order for my parents to love me, for example, my mom is a firm believer in the church. Always has been, always will be. That's her right. Does she have a right to choose whether she loves me or not? Yes. Just because your parents had you, doesn't mean they're obligated to love you, as horrible as that might sound. Does God have a right to love certain people? Yes. Does He have a right to choose who He wants to love? Yes. But, is He selective? NO! So-I ask you. Will God love you if you're a lesbian? Yes! Will God love you if you're a smoker? Yes! Will God love you if you choose to not believe in the church you were raised in? Yes! 

Now, some people might say, "Well, that's dangerous, because you're choosing not to live the consequences of your actions." Not in my case. I'm not burning crosses, I'm not leading a rally that is all for hating God and those who follow Him. I am simply choosing and exercising my right to live the way I want to live. I am not turning my back on the teachings I was raised with. I am simply exploring. I am being honest with myself. I'd rather do that than lie and sink deeper into lies and hurt those I love because of my secrets. I wouldn't say I've 100% given up on Church. I am trying to find out who I am. I am not just gonna go to church because my family wants me to, that's how I was raised so it's a habit, it'll make everyone around me happy. That is not what life is about!! Life is a journey. There is opposition. There's doubt that goes with faith. I am giving myself a voice. I just hope I have everyone's support from beginning to end. This is my journey.