"Gorbachev...tear down that wall!" "Trump...build it back up"?

Take a look at these pictures. One picture represents those that wish to belong to our country get that dream taken away by one man's decision to not allow those that supposedly pose a threat to our nation to be here. The second picture depicts what I wish our world was like. I understand, not everything is black and white. There's a concern of a repeat of September 11th, 2001, there's a concern of an illegal smuggling of drugs, there's always going to be a threat of something bad happening. However, does that mean a WHOLE COUNTRY is going to be responsible for something bad happening? No. It takes one person to make that one decision to blow up a building. It takes one person to decide to use nuclear bombs or to use a hand-held weapon. But, that doesn't mean everybody from different countries is a terrorist. That's what pisses me off about a ban like this. You can choose to think however you want; you can take my words with a grain of salt. I admit, I'm so naive and don't understand all the world issues out there. What I do understand, what doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand....L-O-V-E. Love is universal. Love is something anyone can understand. Let's show more of that. Just by saying, "I accept you. I welcome you. I love you." Boy, as Mr Armstrong once said, "Oh, what a wonderful world."

Why Spend So Much Time Trying To Fit In...

So, when you live in certain places, certain cities or states, you find yourself being automatically put into a crowd or surrounded by certain types of people. I never really considered myself a true follower, although one of the very BANES of my existence has been my bad habit of pleasing people. From the first day of college, I was inserted into a world of vanity. People I lived with and went to church looked like they had just stepped out of People magazine. My second apt was not as bad, but I was in a bad place myself, so I didn't necessarily care about fitting in. I cared about shutting people out. My third apt was basically like the first one. I had made some friends here and there, but the whole time, I wanted to wear high heels, the latest fashions, the brightest colors, wear makeup every day, wear my hair in the latest trends. Now, I care about a different type of fitting in. I want to be the best girl I can be so a guy can look and me and want to date, marry and fall madly in love with me. A friend of mine recently said, "Forget him. You don't need to have people in your life who don't make you feel like you're loved or lovable. YOU need to feel like you're loved and lovable. You need to make yourself feel that way." How?! How do you become your VERY best self that you end up falling in love with yourself? I constantly look at my body or my leg braces and think..."Ugh". I look like a messed up little girl with big breasts. I feel so messed up inside. This journey of self-discovery and self-love is one of the HARDEST things to endure. You only have one body, one mind, right? We've all heard that lecture. It's up to you to make the best of it, blah blah blah. I want to look at myself in the mirror and say, "Hello, gorgeous. I love you." Work in progress, I guess.

There's No Business Like Show Business...

Being a performer has been the highlight of my life since I was very young. Growing up in a musical family, it's just "in my blood", as the old saying goes. I've been playing piano since age 6, singing since at 11, performing professionally since age 12, and was even a band geek for a short period of time. Everybody knew the "Bestor" name. However, no matter whose family you belong to, there's always that one event you hate that's involved in show biz. AUDITION. Auditioning for a talent show, play, musical, TV show, etc. We all have to do it, no matter who you are. Then, there's that other word: Favoritism. If you build a rapport with a director or someone in a higher position, they tend to choose who they're familiar with for a certain part or show. I have been in 5 of this amazing man's shows who has become a legend in Orem, Utah. He's also a lifelong friend and practically family member of the guy you see on the far left. Jerry Elison has been a part of my dad's life since he was 12 years old. He put my dad in several of his shows, not always in a lead part, but my dad did have some speaking parts. Jerry even has a son named after him! You can pretty much guess the shoes I've had to fill. As a performer, you want to progress and spread your wings by working with other directors. So, I've tried to audition for other directors and shows. However, I've been shot down every time except for Jerry's shows.
Now, you can say, "Maybe you just weren't right for the show". That's a notorious explanation for those who audition and feel like they've failed. However, add the fact that you automatically go to your head that you're "living in your family's shadow". How can I live up to my parents' excellent performing and endless accomplishments? How can I develop the repertoire that my parents have set before me? Now, I don't necessarily HAVE to live up to their expectations, but music is something I love. Sometimes, I wish I wasn't "Kurt Bestor's daughter", but I also wish I wasn't "Melodie Bestor's daughter": someone who can play any piece on the piano, memorize any piece, has perfect pitch, can sightread any piece of music, and could very well be accepted to somewhere like Julliard. I want to shine for MY talent. I have a nice voice; not an amazing voice. But, I also don't "look" like a performer. High heels, fashionable clothes, skinny, perky personality, and a "look at me" demeanor. I want to touch people with my voice. I want people to react, whether that be by tears, a smile, a standing ovation (ok, not really, but that's always nice haha). I want performing to be a gift you share with someone to bless THEM as much as yourself.