Imagine growing up in a place where everything is set for you. You get baptized at age 8, you can start dating and driving when you're 16, you're old enough to vote at 18, you serve a mission when you're 19 or 21, you need to get certain health tests done by at least 40. It seems like everything has an age. Well, I was baptized at age 8, got my license at 16, graduated high school at 18. Then, it seems like everything just sort of changed. That's what life contains; change. I graduated from college at age 24, have never been in a relationship and have lived with my mom for 7 years. I'm 31 years old now. Sad, right? Maybe not to other people; like my mom. The one who was pregnant with me for 9 months. The one that was responsible for me for 18 years. Well, her time is up. She doesn't think so. She's what I would call a "helicopter parent". She still sees and manages some of my finances, pays for my cell phone and computer, she FINALLY let me pitch in to help her pay for my car. I don't have a career, but I have a full-time job; a job where I sit for 8 hours, scanning papers. The papers represent my life, going in and out, in and out; monotonous, nothing interesting, repetitive. Where in the Parenting Manual does it say you have to coddle your children? My sister and I were never taught how to cook, sew, we were taught how to clean. We were never taught how to buy a car, a house; my mom taught me how to balance my checkbook, but it was more like a "do it my way or no way" sort of situation. Lovely, right?
How would I manage if my mom died tomorrow? I would die, too. We're not talking like she's still breastfeeding me, but the word "spoon-feeding" still comes to mind. She say she has faith in me. Do you see any evidence of that in the previous paragraph? What is she waiting for? What am I waiting for? I need a little help, a little guidance. NOT CONTROL. This is where kids who smoke, get tattoos, drop out of school; this is where they come from. Too much control. Worse is, she never tells me I'm pretty, intelligent, nothing positive. SHE'S the one who needs help. Do I wish I had different parents? You betcha. People who actually give a damn. Parents who check in with me, spend quality time with me, tell me they love me just because, brag about the wonderful children that they've raised, and not just talk about how "amazing" or "heroic" they are just because they're disabled and have "beaten the odds". Really? Are there no other qualities you love about me? Where do I go from here? I just wanna run and never look back. I wanna pack my bags, my parents come home, and I'm gone, without a trace. No phone calls, nothing.
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